Lashondra call in from Mississippi and she’s trying to get away from it for better opportunities.  2nd chance, false advertising and cheater.  So watch out for jobs that don’t deliver, you may get a second interview.  Are you fudging your resume a little?  I am.  Be careful even if you get the job it may turn out bad for you.  What kind of job?  Revenge, fresh vagina and broken heart.  A mischievous

female energy… have you been to an interview where another girl didn’t like you.  But there is fresh vagina so you’re going to have growth at that job.  Someone is going to be sad.  Is this job going to hurt your relationship with your husband?  Are you a stripper?  Maybe lots of late hours?  That’s implying that the job can hurt your relationship.    I can see your husband being sad and lonely.  If you can avoid it and get a job that is not off shift with your husband that would be better.  Unless you really need the money. For your relationship with your husband if you move to Jacksonville.  Why a sadness card, goodbye and the in-law.  Not the greatest cards for a relationship.  Mouring the loss, cards are saying it’s not going to work out.  That implies a heavy influence from his Mom or some female energy.  Has her husband been faithful?  The Judge Neil Card, bad pickup line and heavy flow day.  He’s on the downlow and will do things that irritate you. 

Keith gets a general reading.  Falling, the thong and oops.    Be prepared for the falling card and the oops.  Maybe when you go to the movies you’ll be stuck between two fat people. 

For this guy – the asshole, jail and broken heart.  I think you like the asshole type.  For school… I don’t need to be psychic for this, if you don’t study you’re not going to pass.  This is your last hurdle before graduation, suck it up and man up.  Thank you for the translation Angela let’s see what the cards say about the boots.  Sacrifice, indifference and soul mate.  People are tired of hearing about  your boots, it’s okay to covet them but stop talking about them.  Just buy them already.  The guy of your dream is not going to care about the boots.  Let’s say what the cards say about you and your pubic hair resale business.  Blood, I know what you did and the unexpressed thought.  I sense a partner and bad blood.

Ann calls in for a reading about her move – FML, the Shiny object and you killed lady luck.  There’s some irritations at the job but recognition is coming up, maybe a promotion.  Accept your punishment and get over it.  I think I know who it

is.  Is this a long term job – revenge.  I going to say no, it’s more like a stepping stone for you.  About your family issues – the broken heart, the gift card and the asshole.  There’s someone kicking you and making you feel bad and you should give yourself a gift and cut them off.  Romance for Ann – I’ve got two boxes of condoms ready.  The toast, peanut butter and chicken soup.  All food.  Well what can you do with peanut butter.  Fancy food, meetings friends and family.  The relationship coming up is not a fancy person.  Chicken soup is a feel good card.  I see a very good relationship coming up for you.  Is he handsome.  You got peanut butter so just turn off the lights and make magic happen.  Will Ann’s man be handsome?  The shield.  Great he’s a cop.  I’m going to say yes.  You lucked out. 

Tammy calls in from Texas.  Do you own a gun?  Not anymore.  Guys watch out she may be packing heat.  Three, teamwork and access denied.  The three card is an outside influence.  This is a fun reading so don’t pull out your 22.  You seem to be closed off.  You could probably accept it but you just want to know.  Should I move on.  Next relationship – hot sex, inappropriate gift and stalker.  Buying and selling the house – access denied, wah wah and boobies.  When you get to your new place the energy is going to be fresh and you’re going to be rolling.  It’s not going to be easy getting there.  Buying and selling will be difficult.

Debra wants to know how her brother Jesse is doing.  The clown, chicken soup and the last chance.  This is for her bother who passed on at 17.  He took his life in September of last year.  I want to ask the cards if I will ever heal from this pain.  Wow, I got the clown card again.  Second card – grim reaper and the last card is the oops card.  How about a reading for Debra’s love life.  Falling, happy song and the shield.  I see you getting into a relationship and being happy.  I see you compartmentalizing and getting over the guilt of your brother’s death.  You have a good relationship coming up! 

Tara – the sun, false advertising and why.  Cards for Tara’s move.  I’m getting the feeling that the sun card, warmth, it’s your dream like the grass is greener on the other side.  But now is not the best time to move.  False advertising.  Either someone misleading or you lying to yourself.  If you relocate right now, you won’t be happy.  Plan it out better.  Do you have someplace that you’re thinking about moving to.  I just want to get in a van and go.  I have an office job and it’s sucking my soul.  I’m transitioning to life coaching and I’m an

  artist.  I just have this wonderlust.  Would you be able to support yourself with that?  I was listening to that “bootman”  and I like that you told him to just suck it up.  I’ve never been likend to a ferret.  Is your daughter supporting you?  No she’s four. 

Love reading for hamburger A – the lucky cure, falling and the cigarette.  Hamburger B – Airplane, the thong and wah wah.  Hamburger A is good sex and satisfaction.  He’s the more stable guy.  Hamburger B is more the gypsy, let’s jump on a plane have fun but he doesn’t follow through but he’s kind of fun.  You’re probably more connected with hamburger B but hamburger A is better for you.  That’s the tough part because either way you’re going to miss something.  Money is not exactly going to be Hamburger B’s friend.  Hamburger A is going to be a better fit and from a life perspective more stability.  Damn cards.  If I won the lottery I’d be a gypsy. 

Nicole (Ohio) calls in about her relationship.  She found out her boyfriend has been cheating on her.  She has found herself in a love triangle.  They dated for four years, were engaged.  He's getting married on Monday.  She wants to know what is going to happen to her and her ?boyfriend.  Promise, thong, the toast.  Broken promises, good and bad and ending up together.  When you were telling your story I was asking myself why is she with him.  I still have feelings for him.   We had a lot of fun together.  The cards say about his marriage.  He should never be granted a license to marry anyone right now.  You or anybody else.  If you want anything with him you’re going to have to be patience.  There is an unresolved past issue with him.  It’s not something you can solve for him.  Nicole asks about her current relationship and gets Teamwork, Blood, Difficult Choice.  This relationship is not completely satisfying to you and will slowly drain you.  You need to decide if you can be happy in this relationship or let go and be with no one for now. 

Selina is intuitive and just started reading angle cards.  She wants to know about her finances.  Tampon/Pad, The bitch and sad kitten.  The sad kitten is a general sadness, like it’s raining.  I read short term.  This is not your life destiny.  People have free will and they can change their own destiny.  Tampon/Pad is an uncomfortable situation.  The bitch is a negative female energy.  Do you have a bitch in your life.  There is a female energy holding you back.  Maybe someone leaches off of you or a drama queen type.  Career read – I know what you did, happy song and breadcrumbs.  Could be a job interview and people looking up your history.  Happy song is a good indicator.  Breadcrumbs could be a job you had before or going back to familiar people. 

Vanessa is in a long distance relationship with a “runner”.   Has cheated on her before but this year he has been good but now he’s playing games with me.  I didn’t hear from him the entire day.  We usually talk everyday.  I’m wondering where our relationship is at right now.  What’s up with your boyfriend.  The gift card, the Midget and the Happy Kitty.  I’m getting the feeling that there is someone else.  Don’t mail him a bomb or something.  I get the feeling that you were so happy that he cleaned up his act and you don’t want to doubt him but you’re intuitive and sometimes you try to ignore it.  Are you in a committed relationship?  Is he treating you correctly?  Not all the time.  Are you happy right now.?  I don’t think you are. 

Lindsey calls in for a read.  He’s hurt me many times, he’s my soul mate but not my twin flame.  Guy are all going nuts.  I have two guys I just texted and they want my bootie.  I recycle.  It’s an ex-boyfriend that doesn’t have a girlfriend at the time.  I have one coming over here right now.  I know, I’m bad.  Don’t recycle boyfriends.  Recycling is for cans.  I want to settle down now.  Winter is coming soon.  Am I making you blush?  I’m having a good time.  Reading for education/career:  Indifference, FML and Sad Song.  Indifference indicates unhappiness.  FML implies a transition.  You have a FML moment coming.  I already had one.  Do you do regular massages or naughty massages?  I am licensed by the medical board. 

Horney Lindsey gets:  Sunrise/Sunset, the unhealing wound, and the mountain for her future relationship.  I don’t want to love because I don’t want to get hurt.  Your journey is not outside you, it’s in you.  You sound like Oprah dammit.  I know your sex buddy is here so I’m going to let you roll.  Where are you at?  Hawaii.  Oh f*** you.  Every good thing you’ve heard about Hawaii is true and more. 

Mic calls in for a general reading – 21 gun salute, sad song and the midget.    Something will come to end maybe you’ll quit smoking or something, there’s some sadness coming up and someone new will show up in your life.  Let’s do a fun reading for your health.  Yeah I know.  Ok let’s get on with the reading.  Bad pickup line, crabs and Multiple personality.  Is there somewhere you can be in nature and take a hike.  I could try doing that and call back in.  I think that would make you feel better and really focus on being with nature on an energy basis.  It would be a good way to get  my mind flowing.  I sense you’re stuck in the city and that would get your energy flowing again.  Take care of all your needs, including your spiritual needs.   Relationship read: The toast, bipolar and shit.  The toast is a celebratory card you folks are going to end up in a really good place.  Bipolar indicates a back and forth, maybe half in and half out.  Shit card indicates some negativity.  This can work out but you’ll be going through some stuff.  You’re living in limbo right now and it’s probably driving you crazy.  Take a chance.  You end up regretting the things you never did more. 

Brandi calls in about upward mobility prospects in her job.  The kiss, the asshole and the cigarette.   Is there someone’s butt you can kiss to get promoted, there may be some asshole or negative energy working against you but there can be satisfaction or a promotion with the cigarette.  The cards indicate kissing butt, is this something you can do.  I pretty much do whatever is asked of me.  I actually enjoy my job.  A lot of times people get promoted because they’re liked and not necessarily because they’re the best worker.